The mad Chemist's mad adventures
by FuriousBacon
Summary: Singed the mad Chemist, a genius, an inventor, the most mobile tank in the entire League. Follow this professional chemist on some of his more strange adventures. In no way a serious fanfic, just some messing about. If you have a waky idea just tell me in any way you wish and I'll most likely make that... most likely.
1. Baby problems chapter 1

The mad chemist's mad adventures

Chapter 1

"Yes…"

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat. He held his hand above the crude iron, opening his hand he watched as the black powder disappeared in the black liquid. He grabbed a large stick and began to swirl the syrup like substance until it erupted into a bright red, giving off a glow that illuminated his living quarters.

A content smile formed on his lips as the liquid lost its syrup like consistency. "Now…"

He turned around, his eyes traced up and down a large shelf filled with jars containing dried plants, strange powders, living and dead creatures and samples of stones. _I need just the right thing. _His eyes narrowed, his fingers tracing every jar until he stopped.

"Perfect…" He mumbled quietly as he grabbed the jar and walked back to the kettle. "And to finish you off, my most beautiful creation, the eye of an ancient golem." He reached into the jar and pulled out a blue stone around the size of his fist. He gave it one last glance before he smiled and dropped it into the liquid. The red liquid instantly became translucent, gaining a water like appearance. He took a step back and grabbed a small flask from his belt.

"And now, for a sample." He carefully placed the flask in the kettle and watched as it slowly filled with liquid. Satisfied he lifted the flask and pressed a cork into the opening. He held the flask in front of his eyes and smiled. "Such beauty…"

He simply stared at the liquid, not paying a second thought to the world.

_Knock- knock- knock_

It took him a moment to realize what had happened. He pulled his gaze away from the flask and stared at the door angrily. "Always interrupting my work!" He put the flask down and walked to the dark wooden door. He grabbed the iron handle and slowly opened it just enough to look outside. His eyes widened ins surprise and his eyebrow shot up. "Lady of Luminosity, to what do I owe the pleasure of you interrupting my work?"

"H- hello… Singed." She kicked at the ground, a nervous look on her face."

"It is a strange sight to see a demacian here, these are the zaunite champion quarters after all." He chuckled and grinned at her distress.

"Y- yeah…" She looked around nervously before she leaned closer much to Singed's annoyance. "I need your help."

He narrowed his eyes and looked at her for a moment before slowly closing the door again.

"No, no, no, no!" She stuck her foot out to stop the door.

"What is it, child?" He leaned down to her height and gave her an angry glare.

She flinched from his glare and took a deep breath. "I- I need a special sort of potion."

He tilted his head in confusion. "You? In need of a potion? What kind of potion could YOU possibly need?"

"C- could we discuss this inside?" She looked around once more.

Singed gave her a bored look and crossed his arms.

"Please?"

He rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed sigh. "Fine! But if you touch anything I will fling you out personally." He fully opened the door and stepped aside.

She gulped and went inside the dark room. She jumped slightly as Singed shut the door behind her. "So tell me, what is it you require my skills for." He motioned her to sit down on a nearby stool.

Once seated she stared at she ground. "I…" She fumbled with her hands, her face growing a dark shade of red. "I need help with… with my b-…" Her voice cracked and she fell silent, avoiding the man's eyes.

"With what? What is it you need, child?"

"With my… breasts…" Her face was completely red, her eyes closed out of embarrassment.

He stared at her for a moment before he pointed at the door. "Leave."

"No please! I mean it! I need a potion to make my b- breasts grow…" She pleaded falling to her knees.

"You need me, a genius, a chemist? No… THE mad chemist of the league? Me, the man who ended a large scale battle during the Ionian invasion by killing everything alive?!" He shouted in fury. "How dare you even consider to get me involved in your, teenage midlife crisis?! What do I look like to you, a shrink of sorts?"

"Please! I beg of you, I'll do anything!" She gave him puppy dog eyes.

Singed tapped his foot for a moment before a huge smile spread across his face. "Anything you say?"

She visibly paled and slowly got back up. "W- well… pr- pretty much anything…"

He chuckled and scratched is chin. "I know just the thing you could do for me."

She gulped. "Y- you… you don't mean…" She looked down at herself before looking back at him in horror.

"Hm?" His eyes widened. "What? No?! God no…" He waved his hand. "What would make you think such a thing?" He shook his head and watched her turn red once again.

"T- then what is it you'll have me do?"

He walked across the room and grabbed the flask filled with his newest creation. He held it out in front of her. "Drink this. I need to observe its effect on the human body."

She eyed the flask cautiously. "What is it?"

"A none traceable toxic substance. It should destroy your never system." He held up his hand to stop her as she opened her mouth to say something. "No need to worry. I have an antidote ready. As much as I would love to let you die, I mustn't kill you for my entire collection of ingredients relies on it." He showed her several shelves filled to the brim with jars. "The League provides anything I ask for." He chuckled evilly.

"So that's all I have to do?" She asked as she grabbed the flask. "Won't it hurt?"

"No." He replied flatly.

She stared at the flask for at least another minute before she glanced at her metal chest plate. _You're doing this for a reason Lux… you're doing it for Ezreal._

She gulped and pulled the cork from the flask. "Good, now go ahead while I get the antidote." Singed turned around and walked away, leaving Lux alone.

"Alright… this is probably the dumbest thing I will ever do…" She closed her eyes and downed the content of the flask in one go. It tasted sweet and she could feel the cold liquid running down her throat.

"Ah! Good you're already don-" His eyes widened in confusion as he watched Lux grab her stomach and groaned in pain.

"W- what is going on… I thought you said it wouldn't hurt." Tears formed in her eyes as she fell onto her side.

"I lied." He eyed her for a moment before turning around and looking at a formula on his blackboard. "Hmmmm- this shouldn't have happened though."

"What do you mean?" She asked through groans of pain.

"The area of effect is completely off and you haven't gone blind…" He looked at her, his eyes widened even further. "Have you gotten smaller?"

"H- huh?!" She looked at her hands and truly, she was slowly shrinking. "What is going on?!" She screamed in panic.

"Oh! How intriguing!" He kneeled down next to her, watching as her body continued to shrink until her chest plate dropped onto her and hid her from his sight. "Miss Crownguard?" He asked after she stopped screaming. The room was completely silent. He took the chest plate and threw it aside. "What in heaven's name is that?!" He jumped up staring Lux wrapped in her blue jumpsuit. Though she was no longer herself. "How can you have turned into a yordle sized human? No, smaller than a yordle sized human? Wait…" He thought for a moment and scratched is chin. "No, you haven't turned into a yordle sized human…" His eyes widened as he took a step away from her. "You're a baby!"


	2. Baby problems chapter 2

"How- I- What?! This is in no way close to what was supposed to happen!"

Singed stared at the baby lying on his floor in utmost confusion. "I didn't even know such a thing was possible!" He kneeled down and looked at her. "M- Miss Crownguard?" He gently nudged her small form. "Miss Crownguard? Luxanna?"

Slowly she opened her eyes and Singed sigh in relief before he flinched, startled by her sudden outburst of screams. The silence of his dorm was broken by Lux's screaming. It echoed loudly only adding to his distress.

"No, no, no, no, no!" He grabbed what little hair he had left on his head in confusion. "What to do? What to do? Ahhhhhhhhhh- I'm a scientist for crying out loud! Think Singed, think!" He turned around, the gears in his head spinning and turning wildly as he stormed across the room. "Grrrrrrrrr- you're screaming is not helping!" He yelled at Lux getting nothing but more crying in return. His eye twitched in anger as he grabbed hold of a table and flung it over his head. It crashed into the wall, shattering several jars, flasks and chemical equipment. Research papers scattered across the room as Singed stared at Lux angrily. "You! Y-"

_Knock- knock- knock_

He stopped dead in his tracks as he heard someone knocking. His eyes bore into the door before he quickly picked up Lux and covered her mouth. "I- I'll be right there!" He shouted in panic. _What, when, where?! What should I do?! WHAT SHOULD I DO!? _He closed his eyes and mumbled several swears under his breath before he took a deep breath and walked to the door. He opened it slightly and looked outside.

"Singed?"

"Miss Jannaaahhhh-…" His eye began to twitch as Lux started suckling on his hand. "M- Miss Janna… w- what a pleasant s- surprise." He forced an awkward smile at her hiding Lux behind the door.

"Is everything alright?" She asked looking down at him in concern. "I heard screaming and something breaking… also I heard a baby. At least I think it was a baby." She titled her head and gave him a thoughtful look.

"Ah! Yes of course… uhhh- well I." His yellow eyes shifted suspiciously from left to right. "Uhhhhhh- well yes," He cleared his throat. "You see, I was just um- creating a new potion… yes. A new potion."

She crossed her arms and placed her hand on the door. "Are you certain everything is alright?" She leaned closer to his face, her eyes narrowed.

He nodded his head frantically. "I swea-"

"Then what is that puddle of drool at your feet?" She pointed at the small puddle clearly coming from his hand that was soaking in Lux's drool.

He stared at the puddle for a moment before staring back at her. "Uhhhhh-" He slammed the door shut knocking Janna back.

"Singed! Open this door, right now!" She banged her fist against the door repeatedly.

Singed pressed his back against the door panic spread across his face. "There is no reason for you to be concerned! There isn't nor was there ever a baby in my room!"

"Singed! Explain yourself!" She demanded as she began summoning whirlwinds to charge at the door.

"Go away!" He could feel the door bend slightly every time it was hit by one of Janna's whirlwinds.

"I'll give you one last chance! Open the door or I'll have to break it down." Her tone was threating.

Singed gulped and pushed harder against the door. He took deep steady breaths as he waited for her to act. He waited for at least 5 minutes before he stepped away from the door. "Is she…" He opened it once again and stuck his head outside. "gone?" His eyes met hers and words could not describe what he felt that moment.

With a loud cracking sound, that echoed throughout the entire zaunite living quarters, Singed flew back into his dorm. He landed on his back, Lux still in his arms as he watched Janna enter his room.

Her eyes widened at the sight of the baby. "What is going on here Singed?" She asked utterly confused.

"Well…" He looked down at Lux before getting up. "This is my… sis- cous- uhhhh- daughter! Yes! She is my daughter!" He smiled confidently at her, presenting Lux like an object.

Her eyes narrowed once more, hands placed on her hips. "Your daughter, eh?" She watched Singed nod. "What's her name then?"

At this Singed's smile disappeared and he paled slightly. "Uhhhhhhhh-…" He stared at her blankly before he grabbed hold of her hand and flung her over his head. "Gotta go!" He yelled before he sprinted out of the room as fast as he could.

"Singeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!" Janna yelled furiously as she recovered and flew after him.

"Outta my way! Outta my way!" Singed yelled as he flung summoners and champions alike over his head. Janna was still following him and he had no intentions of stopping.

Janna dodged the summoners and champions. "Singed! Stop right now!"

He looked over his shoulder to see her catching up. His eyes widened and he ran as fast as he could. "Go away!" He wasn't paying attention where he was running until he turned a corner, the sun shone through a large window blinding him but then he saw it, a dead end ahead. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- shit!" He stopped leaning against the wall trying to find another way out.

"Nowhere to run now!" She flew towards him.

Singed looked at the window. _Too high for me but… _an evil smirk crept onto his face. He turned to face Janna and sprinted towards her.

She blinked in confusion and her eyes widened as Singed slipped down underneath her and placed his palm on her stomach. "W- whaaa-" Her eyes widened as he flung her with all his might. "-ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" She flew straight through the window.

Singed smiled, pleased with his work. "Calculated." He chuckled and strut down the corridor.


	3. Baby problems chapter 3

He simply ignored confused glances of summoners and champions alike as he walked around aimlessly, baby Lux still suckling on his hand.

_What to do? _He scratched his head and let out a long heavy sigh. He looked down at Lux. "You…" He grabbed her tightly and lifted her to look into his yellow eyes. "How do I deal with you?" She giggled and grabbed his nose pulling on it. His eye twitched in anger. "Even though you are physically a baby…" He paused and glared at her. "I believe mentally, you are just fine. You simply do all this to torment me for making you drink my potion. Darn you, you little s-"

"Uhhhhhhh- Singed? Why are conversing with an infant?" Garen stared at Singed in confusion, scratching his head.

Singed looked at him for a moment before he waved his hand at him. "None of your business."

"Well… no. Sorry to bother you?" He went to turn around but stopped. "Oh! I must ask you, have you seen my sister? I've been told that she went to the zaunite quarters, much to all our surprise."

Singed froze in place, his eyes shifting from Lux to Garen and back several times before he replied. "N- no! Of course not. She would never come to me-…" His eyes widened and he shook his head. "I- I mean…come anywhere near my dorm. Yes…" He cleared his throat and backed away slightly.

Garen eyed him suspiciously as he stepped closer. "Are you certain?"

_Think Singed, THINK! _He looked around and saw a large group of summoners not too far behind him. He looked at Lux and gulped. "I'm so done for…"

"What?"

With one last glance behind him he flung the baby over his head and into the group of summoners. Garen's eyes widened. "D- did you jus-"

Singed was already sprinting towards the group. "Who caught the baby?!" Garen blinked away his confusion before he stormed after Singed was making his way through the group.

"Anyone catch the baby? Did anyon-"

"**Who dares to throw an infant at the Master of Metal?!" **His voice boomed through the entire corridor. The group of summoners all pointed at Singed who's eyes were as big as plates. **"YOU!"** Every step shook the earth until he stood before Singed, towering over him like a beast about to feast on a little snack.

"Oh! Me… uh- why yes. I did indeed throw in infant in your general direction. If it is not too much a bother I would like it back."

"Whoa!" Garen stepped in between the two, placing a hand on Mordekaiser chest. "Mordekaiser, I cannot allow you to hand over this infa-"

"**I will tear out your bones and stick them back into you through your eye sockets if you do not remove your filthy hand from my amrour, you puny flesh bag!"** Mordekaisers eyes glowed brighter than ever, his voice shaking everyb one in Garen's body.

"Right away Lord Mordekaiser!" He pulled his hand and bowed slightly.

"**Now I order you to leave my presence!"** He pointed down a hallway as he watched Garen hesitate.** "NOW!"** A cloud of dust was all that was left as Garen sprinted down the hallway.

Singed gulped as he watched Garen run away. Slowly he turned back to Mordekaiser.

Mordekaiser narrowed his eyes. He leaned down to Singed's height and stared directly into his eyes. **"Why should I, the great Mordekaiser, obey such a worthless human!?" **

Singed looked around for a moment before he leaned closer to Mordekaiser, much to his disliking. After making sure no one stood close enough he began to whisper to the tower of metal before him. "It's Luxanna Crowngua-"

Mordekaiser pressed the baby into his hands. **"Take it! I order you to bring it far away from me before it grows up!" **Singed watched as Mordekaiser turned around without another word and simply stomped away.

"Well…" He stared at Lux who began to suckle on his hand again. His face contorted in annoyance. "Maybe I should have let him keep you." He sighed and began walking again.

**AN: Well ain't I a lazy motherfucker? I'm simply lazy, deal with it. Or don't, I guess. T'is up to you.**

**Cheerio and thanks for reading.**


	4. Baby problems chapter 4

"Is that a ba-"

"No." Singed replied not paying a second thought to the summoners and champions who asked about the baby in his arms, calmly suckling on his thumb. He looked down at Lux for moment before he quickly pulled his thumb away. Her eyes watered and a deafening scream filled the Institution of War. Singed groaned loudly and stuck his thumb back in her mouth. His eyes narrowed as he glared at Lux. "I hate you."

_Singed._

"Hm-?" He looked around in confusion for a moment.

_Singed?_

His eyes widened as he realized that one of his summoners had established a connection to his mind. "Summoner Valdar? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

_Our rift match is beginning shortly, though you have not yet arrived at the summoning room. Would you want me to teleport you to us?_

_A match? Today?! Now?! _He looked around frantically.

_Is there a problem? _Valdar asked calmly.

"Uhhhh- I, no. Well, more or less. I-"

_Then I will proceed to teleport you._

Singed could already feel the magic surge through his body. "Wait! No, no, no, no!"

With a bright flash he stood within the circular room he knew too well. Viktor, Sivir, Blitzcrank and Rammus, they all stared at him, then at the baby Lux, then back at him.

"Is this a joke or something?" Sivir asked, placing a hand on her hip.

"**BEEP-BOOP analyzing.**"

Viktor's eyes only narrowed as he crossed his arms.

"Ok." Rammus turned around not caring all that much.

"I can explain!" Singed said waving one of his hands at them frantically.

"I'm intrigued to hear as to why you brought a little fleshbag along with you." Viktor said coldly.

"Well..." Singed was cut off by the runes in the floor glowing brightly.

"Explain yourself later." Sivir said grabbing her boomerang from her waist.

"**BEEP-BOOP analyzing complete. Infant human identity as Lu-"**

Everyone, except Rammus, stared at Blitzcrank before they entered the Rift. They all blinked a couple of times and simply chose to ignoring what Blitzcrank was about to say. They all bought their items, Sivir and Blitz going to their botlane, Viktor running to mid and Rammus disappeared into the jungle.

Singed looked around, unsure of what to do as he considered he had Lux with him.

"Hey! Singed? You gonna buy anything?" The yordle shopkeeper asked somewhat confused.

"Uh- yes." He cleared his throat. "The usual please."

He arrived at his outer turret and not too far away he could see Mordekaiser.

The master of Metal eyed Singed and laughed loudly. "**So we meet again, Mad Chemist!**" His voice boomed across the lane. "**I will most certainly enjoy thi-**" His eyes widened at the sight of baby Lux. "**That infant…**"

Singed watched the Master of Metal turn around and simply walk away. He looked down at Lux for a moment before he smirked. "Maybe you're not completely useless." He looked up immediately as he heard something stir in the river bush to his right.

"At first I wouldn't believe it, but I should learn to trust my nose more blindly." Nidalee strutted towards the middle of the lane. She chuckled as she eyed Singed and the baby. "Meow." She said in her seductive voice.

Singed flinched and took a step back.

She giggled and sat down cross legged. "Not good with women?"

"Would I have to be?" He asked taking another step back.

"Well according to that baby in your arms, you must have managed to create at least one love potion." She smirked at him.

"W- what?! You dare assume I would waste my time on such things?!"

"So it wasn't a love potion? But rather an act of pure love?" her smirk grew larger.

"Pffff- I don't have time or demand for love. A woman would only get in between me and my work."

She went onto all fours and slowly crawled towards him. "But don't we women have some…_appealing _aspects?" She lowered the cloth covering her breasts ever so slightly, showing off more than usual.

Singed looked at her unfazed.

"No?" She pouted before getting up and turning around. "Nothing appealing about women?" She stretched and bent down, her hands touching the ground. She waved her behind slightly.

"I couldn't care less." He said as he covered Lux's eyes.

She got back up and crossed her arms. "Any normal woman would be offended by now, though I enjoy I good challenge."

"A challenge? We don't have time for such things, we have rift match right now." His eyes narrowed.

She smirked. "This match is over anyways. Morderkaiser refuses to go back to his lane and maybe you haven't noticed though the minions aren't spawning. My summoner said they encountered a major problem." She slowly walked towards him, making sure to stay out of his tower's range. "I like to play with my prey." She threw her spear aside and licked her lips. "Did I mention it's mating season?"

His eyes widened in realization. "Oh- I ain't having any of that!" He ran back along his lane only to stop exactly halfway. With a bright flash Nidalee stood only a couple of meters away from him. "Why do you wish to torment me like this?" She slowly walked towards him as he backed away until he hit the wall.

"With just your poison trail you can't do much." She dragged her index finger across his chest.

"I would appreciate if you stoooooo- ahhh-" He grabbed her finger before it reached any _private_ areas. "Would you mind keeping your hands to yourself…"

She pressed herself against him and licked her lips. "But why? I'm certain both of us would enjoy ourselves."

Singed raised Lux above his head, keeping her away from Nidalee. "This is an invasion of my privacy a- and highly inappropriate! And the summoners are watching! A- and-"

"Isn't it obvious that I don't care?" She inched closer to his face, a mischievous smile on her face.

Singed looked around in panic and saw Rammus standing not too far away simply watching silently. "Rammus! Help me!"

"Ok." He slowly made his way towards him and Nidalee.

"Rammus leave us alone for a bit will you~" Nidalee asked flashing him a smile.

"Alright." He turned around again and walked away.

"What!? You traitor! Come back and free me from this big breasted beast!" Singed yelled furiously after Rammus who disappeared in his jungle. He yelled a few more curses until Nidalee grabbed his chin and made him look at her again.

"Let's not get distracted~" She slowly rubbed her chest up and down his body. "Don't you like it when I-" Her eyes widened as Singed pressed Lux into her face and into her hands.

"Hold that for me, okay?" He smirked at her.

She looked at the baby in confusion. "Uhh- what am I supposed to do with the ba-" She could see Singed running down his lane towards his turret. "No fair…" She pouted and stomped her foot angrily.

Singed hid behind the turret and took deep calming breaths. "Okay… I need to get the baby back before she does anything to her." Singed peaked around the turret, expecting to see Nidalee though she was nowhere to be seen. "Dammit! I need to think these plans through! I'm a scientist for crying out loud!" He slapped himself in the face. "I have to get that stupid baby back…" He sighed and ran into the jungle.

He made his way along the rugged dirt path, the trees seemingly swallowing up most of the sunlight. While he did know his way around the jungle he didn't like it one bit, and certainly not while the bestial huntress could be around any corner waiting to pounce on him and violate him. He shuddered at the thought. That w_oman, nothing but a pesky nuisance to me. _He groaned as he reached the river that separates the two teams' jungles. He lowered his head and sighed. "Piss and balls…" He kicked a stone out of frustration and walked towards the enemy's jungle. "I have a bad feeling about this."


	5. Baby problems chapter 5 (Final)

"So far so good…" Singed mumbled to himself as he tiptoed towards a bush next to the enemy red buff. He peeked through the tall grass, looking at the spot where the red buff would usually spawn. Though just like the minions the elder Lizard was missing. He looked around cautiously and scratched is head. "Where is that darned woman?"

"Looking for me~?" She whispered into his ear.

Singed quickly pulled away. "You! Huh?!" She was no longer there. He looked around in panic. "Show yourself!"

"Calm yourself Singed. I only want to ask you something~" She brushed her hand along his shoulder, giggling as he flinched.

"Just stop this already! Tell me, what is it you want?!" He watched her disappear again, grumbling angrily.

"You want the baby, don't you?" She smirked at him.

"It's either the baby or your life!" He yelled angrily.

"And how do you plan on taking either?"

"Well…" His eyes widened. He slapped himself _I need to think these things through! _

"You don't have a plan, do you?" She laughed and popped up in front of him. "I'll make you a deal."

"Hm?" He glared at her. "Alright… let's hear it."

"I'll give you the baby if you tell me who the mother is." She smiled at him and stepped closer, curiosity in her eyes.

He stepped back and paled visibly, sweat running down his forehead. "T- the mother?" He gulped and looked around frantically. "I- I…"

She raised her eyes brows, waiting patiently. "Yes~?"

_Think Singed, THINK! _"Janna!" He smiled victoriously.

"Janna?" Her eyes widened.

"Yes! Janna! She is the mother. We've kept it a secret for years though it appears our love simply couldn't keep itself hidden from the public." He let out an overly exaggerated sigh. "I just wasn't sure what to do."

She looked at him suspiciously. "Janna, huh?" A smile spread across her face.

"Why yes! I l- lo-…" He facepalmed and let out a sigh. "Love her…" He shuddered visibly as he said it.

"Really? Well how about you go tell her? Make your love public? Show them that love you had to keep hidden!" She smirked at him evilly.

"Uhhh- well…" He scratched is head in confusion.

"You don't want to? Well then I'll go do it for you!" She exclaimed, a huge smile on her face.

Singed tilted his head and scratched his head. "And how are you going to do that? We can't just leave the rif-…" He sighed and lowered his head. "She's here, isn't she?"

Nidalee was already sprinting away. Singed could see her grab baby Lux out of a nearby bush. "Let's go to mama!"

His eyes widened. _I'm as good as dead! _"No, wait!" He ran after her but stopped as he reached the mid lane. The two towers were looking down upon him and to follow Nidalee he would have to go through their range. He clenched his fists "Nidalee!" He grit his teeth and ran for it.

"Ooooooh- Janna~" Nidalee stepped onto the bot lane.

The Storm's Fury looked at her in confusion. "Nidalee? What brings you here?"

"Oh I just thought I'd stop by and ask you something." She slowly stepped closer, baby Lux in her arms.

Janna's eyes widened. "A baby?"

Nidalee nodded. "It is the baby Singed had with him. But before we do anything else I must ask you, are you and Singed-"

"Nidalee!" Singed sprinted at Nidalee who's eyes widened. She dodged Singed's shield as he swung at her over and over again. "Hold still so I can make a nice rug out of your fur!" He shouted furiously with each swing, if he weren't pre level 6 one would assume he had drunken his insanity potion.

Janna watched the pair in confusion. "W- what is the meaning of this?"

"Oi! Janna, what's all this ruckus about?" Caitlyn asked as she watched Singed and Nidalee flail about. "Should I shoot him?"

"No… the match isn't official anymore so it's pointless to fight each other." She crossed her arms and watched the two for another minute or two before she took a deep breath and raised her voice. "**STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!**"

They both halted, Singed mid attack, Nidalee mid dodge. "Yes ma'am!" They both said in union.

"Now you'll explain to me what is going on!" Janna demanded, looking down at the two.

Singed paled once more. "W- well-"

"Singed said you and him are lovers and that baby is yours!" Nidalee said holding Lux up.

"You stupid fu-"

Janna wacked Singed on the head. "First of all: No swears near the baby! Second of all**: WHAT**!**?**" Her face turned as red as a tomato. "**Why would you say such things?!**" She landed and tapped her food impatiently, her face still bright red.

Singed gulped and took a step back. "Well…"

"You heard the lady." Caitlyn said, a smirk on her face.

Singed sighed in defeat. "I guess I can't get around it, can I?" He looked up at Janna's face once more before he frowned. "Fine! The baby is…" He looked around and smiled. "The baby is… **Quick Blitz! Grab the baby!**" He pointed at Lux and a golden metal hand shot out of a nearby bush, grabbing Lux and pulling her away from Nidalee who gasped in surprise. Singed ran away laughing like a maniac as he did. "Muhahahahahaha- see you later, **suckers**!" He ran into the bush and took Lux from Blitz, Sivir only watching him in confusion. "Much appreciated my metallic friend." He stopped next to his tower and smiled in triumph. "Muhahaha! Some may call me mad for making a robot grab a fragile infant but I am exactly that!" He continued laughing but as soon as he opened his eyes he stood within a large summoning chamber. He turned around and saw his and the enemy team standing opposite of each other. "Uhhhh- " He looked at Janna whose face was red in anger. "Ohhhhh-" He looked at the Institutes high Counselor, narrowed eyes glaring at him from underneath his hood. "…"

"Mad Chemist." The counselor's voice echoed through the large room. "In the name of the Institution of War, explain the origin of this child and the absence of Luxanna Crownguard!"

Everyone watched him closely. He gulped and nodded slowly. "Yes of course high counselor." He sighed in frustration. "Luxanna Crownguard came to me to ask for help, though… in return I made her drink my newest creation. While it was meant to be a toxic substance to destroy the nerves system it… well-" He cleared his throat and held Lux higher. "It turned her into a baby." He smiled sheepishly.

The sound of several palms smacking against faces filled the room.

The high Counselor sighed and closed his eyes. "We'll deal with her. But for not informing the council you are suspended from League matches for 4 days."

"4 days? That's it?" He stared at the high Counselor. "Really? Well, alright."

"Barely anyone summons you Singed. It was rare enough of an occasion for you to be here right now. You won't be summoned within these 4 days anyways."

"Ouch… you know how to hurt, don't you?" Singed handed the baby to a summoner and turned around to leave.

"You think so Singed?" The counselor chuckled evilly. "Well then, shall have you do community service?"

Singed slowly turned around, fear spread across his face. "You wouldn't dare…"

"As an addition to your punishment-"

"No…"

"You must absolve 24 hours of community service." The high counselor grinned at Singed.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

*4 days and 24 hours of awful community service later*

Singed stood at river, covering his jungler's blue buff. He huge grin spead across his face.

"Today shall be the day I test out my newest creation!" He looked over his shoulder and watched the purple mixture in his huge bottle sway around. 10 feet made their way across the river, something that would install fear into any champion but not Singed. He laughed like a maniac as he watched the enemy team invade the blue buff. "This shall be glorious!" He activated poison trail and ran away. His grin grew larger as he heard them cough but what made him stop was the sound of crying. "No…" He slowly turned around, as pale as a ghost, eyes filled with terror. He fell to his knees as he watched 5 babies lying before him, crying and yelling.

"How… HOW…** HOW?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!**"

The End.

**AN: This took far too long to write! JK I just forgot I had finished it and well… I forgot it existed. I had stuff to do! I got distracted! …okay I just played League and Skyrim, ignored homework… you know? The usual. But thanks anyways, next story… might be a haunted house thing? Maybe some romance? Well, more or less romance… aww fuck it, you'll see.**

There won't ever be any form of smut in this story… go fuck yourself.


	6. Love ain't my business chapter 1

"We sell everything from roses to erotic lingerie." Ahri said as she led an extremely bored and annoyed Singed through her store. "We're not quite ready for the grand opening but we're getting there."

Singed rolled his eyes. "So what is it you require my help for? Couldn't I be somewhere else for my community service?"

Ahri turned around and grabbed Singed by the shoulders. "No! Because I need your skills for something very special! Something only you can do."

Singed's eyebrow rose slightly, his yellow eyes light up with curiosity. "Oh- really?"

"Yes! Follow me." She led him further through the store. "At first I thought I had to open my store whilst lacking such an essential item but then I heard about you having to do community service and from that moment I knew it was destiny!"

"Blah- blah- blah-… could you get to the point?" He said as he crossed his arms.

A huge smile spread across her face as she stood before large red curtain. "You will be creating-" She pulled a cord hanging from the ceiling, the curtains moved aside and revealed a sign. "Love potions!"

Singed eyed the sign for a moment, then Ahri, then the sign again before he spoke up. "Go die in a fire." He turned around and began to walk away.

"What!? Singed! No, come back!" She dove after landing on her stomach as she grabbed hold of his legs. "Y- you have to do this! If you refuse I'll have do more community service!" She tried to sound demanding though in her distress she failed miserably.

Singed clenched his fists and groaned loudly. "Fine! I'll make you a love potion!"

"Really!?" She jumped up and clapped happily. "I wasn't even sure if something like that existed."

Singed facepalmed. "Of course something like that exists. Anyways, how much do you need?"

"Well~" She tapped her chin. "About 200 bottles."

Singed's head lowered and he sighed in defeat. "You have got to be kid-"

"Nope! I need exactly 200 bottles! It will be a limited time offer." She smiled victoriously.

"Alright, alight… I'll make your stupid little potions."

"I want you to bring them to me by tomorrow afternoon."

His eyes widened. "What!?"

"And if you don't manage, well it's more community service for you." She grinned at him.

Singed sighed and turned around. "Bullshit… I'll be in my lab, feel free to come by any time but please don't."

**TO THE SINGED CAVE**… I mean** LAB**

Singed stood before hid blackboard as he mumbled to himself, a piece of white chalk in between his fingers. "Soooo

~ you gonna start any time soon?" Ahri said eyeing him curiously from across the room.

Singed grabbed the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh. "Let me explain this to you again… Ahri. First I will need to create a formula, no potion without a formula and then I will have to adjust minor or even major things as I create the potion. After I created a prototype that will not kill whoever consumes it can I begin the production. Understood?"

She waved her hand and leaned back in the wooden chair. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"And you being here will not make this progress any faster!"

Ahri sighed and got up. "Alright, I'll leave you be but I'll be back later."

Singed rolled his eyes. "Do us both a favour and don't."

She opened the door and looked at Singed over shoulder. She stuck her tounge out at him. "We'll see about that."


	7. Love ain't my business chapter 2

"197, 198, 199 and 200!" Ahri smiled with glee as she finished counting the small flasks. Each flask contained a glowing pink liquid that swayed slightly as Ahri brought it up to her face. "You did it Singed, you actually did it." She said somewhat amazed.

Singed rolled his eyes. "Of course I made it, I am a professional chemist."

"You really helped me out here!" Ahri said as she jumped up and down happily.

"Well, I still have 3 hours of community service left. Maybe you could let off a little earlier so I ca-"

Ahri leaned forward and gave him a small peck on the cheek, much to his discomfort. He grunted in annoyance and wiped his cheek. "Certainly, after you put the flasks on the shelf." Ahri smiled at him.

"Fine." Singed sighed and began stacking the flasks on the large shelf.

It only took him about 5 minutes to put all the flasks on the shelf though not a second passed without him mumbling curses to himself.

Ahri clapped her hands, gaining Singed's attention. "Lovely."

"Can I leave now?"

She giggled. "I'd like for you to stay until the grand opening."

"I'd rather not."

"But I want you to and I didn't dismiss you just yet." She grinned at him.

Singed lowered his head in defeat. "Alright... when is the grand opening?"

Ahri looked over her shoulder at a clock hanging on the wall. "In about uhh- 10 minutes actually."

"What? Already?" Singed asked her confused.

She nodded her head and giggled in excitement. "I can't wait either! Oh- can you grab that bottle of champaign and fill up those glasses? I still need to prepare some other things… and go into the backroom and change into the suit I had made for you."

Singed slowly turned to look at her. "You made… a suit for me?"

"Why yes, be thankful! You can't wear the same clothes every day and especially not at the grand opening of my shop!" She glared at him angrily.

"You have got to be joking… there is no way I will wear a suit! I will not do such degrading thi-"

"Wear the suit or I'll make you do more community service, this time at the primary school in the town nearby."

Singed instantly turned around and stormed into the back room" Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck my life…" He mumbled angrily as he began to change into the suit.

**AT THE GRAND OPENING! YES I NEED TO YELL THIS!**

"-and with this, Ahri's Love and Romance is now open!" Ahri pulled open a large velvet ribbon that held the double doors together. The crowd of women/Taric and the men said women dragged along entered the store. Singed watched them, wearing a pink suit and holding a tray in his hands. Oh how he just wanted to fling the tray over his shoulder and storm out, but he couldn't and he was fuming because of it.

Singed sighed and began walking around, offering the customers champaign. _What a bunch of idiots _He thought as he watched a crow of women gather in front of the love potions he created. He stood next to the group and he recognized some of the female champions like Luxana, Shyvana, Akali and even Riven though she stood furthest away from him, who knows why.

He leaned against the shelf and closed his eyes for a moment before he felt someone poke his arm.

"Singed?"

He opened his eyes and stood stiff as a board. "Miss Janna?" He eyed her for a moment before he leaned back against the shelf. "What brings you here?"

"Well I could certainly ask you the same question… and what are you wearing?" She giggled as she looked at the suit more closely.

"Oh- ha, ha… yes, Ahri forced me to wear this piece of clothing. Usually I'd rather die but I had no choice this time." He sighed.

"Oh- poor you." She patted his head and laughed. "No but you should wear a suit more often… well not a pink one but still. It'd suit you well."

"Hm- I doubt I will ever again." He yawned but stopped as he heard something crack. "Did you hear that?" He asked looking around for the source.

"I- I think it might have been the shel-ahhhhh!"

The shelf Singed was leaning onto broke, he lost his footing and fell to the ground. He could hear several surprised screams and glass shattering. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at the huge pink puddle on the floor with about every female champion standing in it. He could see them inhaling the pink fumes that rose form the puddle. "Uhhhhh-"

"S- Singed…" Janna asked shyly.

He looked at her, one of his eyebrows shot up. "Yes Miss Janna?"

She looked at him, her face flushed. "I- I…"

"Stop mumbling and speak up."

"W- would you like to go out with me?"

Singed's eyes widened. "What?"

"Hold on lady! I saw him first!" Caitlyn said as she grabbed Janna by the shoulder.

"Let's not be unreasonable. You can all have your turn but I'm first." Irelia said pushing the two ladies apart.

Singed watched in horror as more and more women joined to fight over him. He felt a pair of hands gripping his shoulder. "You should get out of here."

He didn't turn around, instead he just got up and let the person drag him away from the growing crowd.


	8. Love ain't my business chapter 3

"Thank you very much." Singed said as he was dragged into the backroom to safety away from the women. It was dark and Singed could only see his savior from behind though he couldn't care less as for right now.

"No… no problem."

Singed leaned against the wall and let out a long sigh. "Why do things always turn out against my favour? Well, strangely enough I'm safe right now." He chuckled and scratched his neck.

"Singed… we need to talk."

"Hm-?" He watched as his savior turned around, face flushed and avoiding his gaze Riven stood before him. His eyes widened. "R- Riven?"

"Singed… I want to thank you." She began fiddling with her hands nervously.

"Thank me?" He replied in confusion.

"Y- you helped me become the person I am today, helped me realize that Noxus has changed… I wish to make up with you for what happened that day." She looked deeply into his eyes.

"What? Make up with me? But… no! No, no, no, no… you hate me and I'm glad you do, well not especially glad but I just got used to it and-" He took a step back.

She began taking off her armour. "Singed, I don't hate you, if at all I tried to disguise my love for you with hate." Her last piece or armour fell to the floor and she began to unwrap the bandages around her torso.

Singed only stared at her in a terrified way. "You must be mistaken, you should reconsider how you feel about me! Don't forget, I- I killed all your comrades a- and I scarred you for life!" He kept walking backwards until his back hit the wall.

"Singed, we need to leave the past behind us." She said dropping her bandages.

Singed's eyes widened. He spun around and grabbed the door handle, trying to force the door open.

Riven wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed her chest to his back. He turned stiff as a board, his face pale, sweat running down his forehead. "Riven… let's be reasonable… you're clearly under the effects of my love potion."

"I know its true love." She purred after leaned up to his ear.

Singed closed his eyes and grabbed her hands. "I'm certain it is, listen-" He turned around and pushed her away. "Riven, you need to come to your senses. You hate me, you should hate me, I feel uncomfortable with you not hating me, I would prefer if you hate me and it'd be great if-" He looked at her steel shoulder pad lying on the floor. "Is that made of steel or iron?"

She blinked in confusion. "Uh- yes?"

He looked up at her then at the shoulder pad, then at the door, then his eyes glued themselves to hers as he picked up the piece of amrour. "Actually you are right! We should make up! I see a great opportunity-"He smashed the shoulder pad against the door repeatedly without breaking eye contact. "-for us to become friends, maybe even more! You see, I always-" He smashed through the door and through the shoulder pad aside as he began to rip more wood from the door with his hands. "-saw something in you, something that peaked my interest like no other person I have ever met." He tore out one large piece and began climbing through the hole he tore open.

"R- really?!" Riven asked, a tear rolled down her cheek as she smiled at him.

Singed stood happily outside the backroom, a door in between him and Riven. "Pfff- fuck no! I'll see you in at least uhhhh- 8 hours until the potion has worn off, then I'll tell you what you did in **EXACT **detail just to piss you off!" He grinned at her before he ran away. "Haha! There is no challenge I, Singed the mad chemist, cannot surpass!"

"Then you should do just fine with satisfying my desires." Her voice sent a cold chill down Singed's spine.

He slowly turned his head and stared at Syndra. "Oh! OH! **AHHHHH!**" Singed screamed in a voice close to Annie's.

She chuckled evilly as she floated closer to him. "Yes, I believe you are the only one who may satisfy my desires."


	9. Love ain't my business chapter 4

He felt Snydra's magic engulf his body. Slowly he was lifted off the ground and up to Syndra's face, a huge grin on her face, purple staring into yellow orbs. "Maybe we should rid of those bandages?" She dragged her finger across his face, her nail catching on the bandages covering his face. "I've been, just like many others, all too curious about what your face looks like."

Singed tried to turn his head away put he was instantly forced back by Syndra grabbing his chin. "How rude, you should show some more respect towards your mistress."

Singed started flailing his arms around. "Let me go right this instance!"

She laughed and patted his head. "You'll be free after you've been a good boy and-" She leaned closer to his ear and whispered so only he would hear.

His eyes widened. "I'd rather not."

"Oh- but you don't have choice."

"I refuse."

"I like it when they struggle."

"Bu-"  
Syndra placed her finger on his lips and turned around. "We can talk later."

"But I-" His mouth was forced shut and he could no longer open it.

"I said, we can talk **later**." She glared at him before she floated away with Singed right behind her.

Singed began to flail his arms and legs around, trying to force his way out of her magic but to no avail.

"There he is!" Ashe said pointing at Singed. The group of women turned around and stared at him, then at Syndra.

"Hey miss oh I'm so powerful!" Ashe said walking up to her. "I don't care how "powerful" you claim to be, but let me make one thing clear, you won't get Singed that easily!"

"Yeah! She's right! We won't let you keep him to yourself!" Shyvana said, steam coming from her nostrils.

There was a cheer of agreement coming from the group.

Syndra's eyes narrowed and she flicker her wrist. "Move it, weaklings." The women were pushed aside creating a path. "You are no match for me." She flew past them, a rather distressed looking Singed right behind her.

Snydra made her way through the institution of War, ignoring confused looks from summoners and champions alike as Singed floated behind her, arms crossed and extremely annoyed.

He grabbed the bridge of his nose and tapped her shoulder. She turned around and looked at him. "You dare to touch me without my permission?! You better have a good excuse!" She glared at him for a moment. "Speak! What is it you want?"

Singed facepalmed and pointed at his mouth.

Her eyes widened before she returned to her cocky self. "Of course." She snipped her fingers and Singed could feel the pressure on his jaw disappear.

He let out an annoyed sighed and rubbed his jaw. "Where are you taking me?"

She smiled at him, a rather unsettling smile. "To my domain." They reached the entrance to the Institution of War. "My castle." Singed looked around before his eyes wandered across the sky where he spotted a huge castle slowly floating towards them.

"Oh my…" Singed watched her fly up into the sky and only moments later he followed close behind her.

**AT SYNDRA'S CASTLE! **I think my voice is getting hoarse…

Inside the huge floating castle Syndra was blabbering on about her powers while Singed paid her no thought. He was plotting on how to escape though thus far his chances were rather… minimalistic.

"And now to my favourite room." The rather large set of double doors opened, revealing a dungeon of sorts with a large circular window in the ceiling. Chains hanging from the ceiling, torture devices scattered everywhere but the only thing that truly scared Singed was the huge bed on the far end of the room. Shackles for feet and arms ready to prevent any means of escape, assuming whoever was bound to the bed wanted to escape.

"Syndra-" He began she grabbed his face and glared at him.

"You will call me Mistress." She said with a slight purr in her voice.

Singed stared at her for a moment. "Seriously?" He rolled his eyes. "Alright, "Mistress". I can assure you that I will not be able to satisfy your desires and tha-"

"Oh- you will do just fine." She grabbed hold of his neck and looked into his eyes. "I don't know why but I just know you will."

His eyes shifted from left to right. "Uhh- w- well… I doubt it and I'd rather no-"

Syndra pressed her lips onto his. A muffled yelped escaped his lips as he tried to pull away. After a moment she broke the kiss and bit her lip.

"Yes, you will satisfy my desires." She giggled, her face flushed.

Singed rubbed his mouth in disgust. _Thank god I have these bandages. _"Syndra, I must ask you to let me go."

She ignored him and flung him onto the bed. The shackles came to life and wrapped themselves around his limbs. She dragged her hand across his chest. "I'll be right back, don't run away." She turned around and floated away.

Singed waited until the doors closed before he began thrashing about. "Shit! Fuck! Piss and balls! I hate enchanted objects! They are nothing but bothersome to me!" He looked around the room to find anything to aid in his escape. He saw several tables with "toys" on them, whips, candles and all sorts of gaging devices. His eyes widened. "Wow… and I thought Teemo was a pervert." He stared at the clouds through the circular window, accepting defeat until he saw a shadow. Something was on the window or rather someone. Singed raised his head to take a closer look.

"Wait a second isn't that…" Suddenly the glass began to crack. Singed stared at it for a moment before he closed his eyes and sighed. "Why always me?" The glass shattered and whoever stood atop it fell all the way onto him. He grunted in pain and slowly opened his eyes. "J- Janna?"

She looked up at Singed's face, she was sitting on his lap. Her face turned bright red and she immediately climbed off him. "I- I came to rescue you." She stammered as she began to work on the shackles, using her own magic to open them.

"Phew- much appreciated Janna." He said as she removed the last shackle. He got up and stretched. "Feels good to be a free man again! Haha! Just as I said, not a single challenge I cannot surpass! Muhahahahahaha-"

Janna tugged on his arm. "We should get out of here before she comes back."

"Ah- yes… uh- how should we do that?" He looked around and stared at the door. _No, we don't know our way around the castle, the chance of running into Syndra is too dangerous._ He looked up at the broken window and tapped his chin. "Janna, could you fly both of us out of here?"

She looked up and rubbed her arm. "I- I can try…"

Singed looked at her before he placed his hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, I know you can do it." _We're gonna die. _

She smiled at him and slowly floated in front of him. "O- okay… grab… grab on." She looked away, her face flushed.

Singed looked at her in confusion. "Grab on? Grab on where?"

"A- anywhere!" She closed her eyes.

"Why always me…" He muttered to himself before he wrapped his arms and legs around her body. His face pressed against her collarbone.

"Y- you ready?" She gulped as he nodded. "Okay… hold on tight." She began to fly higher and higher.

_Almost safe! _Singed looked up, he could hear the wind and a smile formed on his face thought it faded away as he heard the double doors open.

"I'm back~" Syndra announced. Her eyes widened as she looked around the room in search of Singed until she spotted him and Janna reaching the broken window. "**YOU!**" She yelled, her eyes glowing brighter than ever.

"Oh shit!" Singed yelled as he held onto Janna more tightly. "Fly Janna! Fly like the wind!" Singed watched Syndra who began throwing balls of magic at them. "Watch out!"

Janna looked over her shoulder and yelped in surprise as a ball missed her by a couple inches. She turned her head back and flew faster, moving left and right to avoid Syndra's attacks.

"Don't move so much! I can't hold on properly!" Singed lost his grip for a second before he clung onto her again. _What's this soft feeling? _He opened his eyes and was greeted by a pair of breasts. "I hate my life." He said quietly as he pressed his face back into Janna's cleavage.

Her face was bright red. "S- Singed!"

"I can't put my face anywhere else!" He yelled up at her. "You can complain later! Now get us out of here!"

She closed her eyes and nodded. She clenched her fists and focused her magic, giving them an extra boost of speed. They flew out of the castle and Singed began to laugh. "You did it! Well…" He looked down and saw Syndra throw a huge ball or magic after them. "Holy fucking shiiiiiiii-" The ball of magic zoomed past Singe and Janna breaking her concentration. "Huh?! Janna were falling!" Singed lost his grip on her and flailed his arms around until his fingers got caught on her white chest piece. He pulled it off in one swift motion.

She immediately covered her chest, her face having gone as red as a tomato. "Singed!"

He stared at the piece of clothing for a moment before he looked at the incoming ground. "Janna!" He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the worst, though much to his surprise his head collided with something rather soft. He opened his eyes and was once again greeted by breasts. "Seriously?" He looked up at Janna's red face.

"Y- you can take your face out of my cleavage now…" She muttered in embarrassment.

Singed looked around and noticed that they were in front of the institution of war. "Oh!" He cleared his throat and handed Janna her chest piece back. "Thank you very much Janna… I…" He let out a long sigh. "I owe you."

She landed in front of him and looked up at him. "Really?"

He looked down at her. "I am in your debt." _Please don't ask for anything, please don't ask for anything please don't ask for anything._

She started fumbling with her fingers. "I… I'd like for us to go out on a date."

He stared at her for a moment before he facepalmed. _Of course she'd ask for something. _


	10. Love ain't my business chapter 5

**IN VIKTOR'S LABORA- ***voice breaks* sorry… one second. *drinks water* **LABORATORY **

"…and then Syndra kidnapped me. She took me to her castle so that I could "satisfy her desires"."

"Uhu…" Viktor replied only half listening, his robotic voice showing signs of boredom. Having sat down in a large armchair as he watched Singed pace up and down his laboratory.

"And, believe it or not, Janna came to save me. We barely managed to escape but in the end we did… well I wouldn't be here either wise."

Viktor rubbed his eyes and groaned.

"But now I have a date with Janna, since I owed her for saving me." Singed finished crossing his arms.

Viktor looked at him for a moment before he cleared his throat. "So where is the problem? You have a meeting with another fleshbag, preparations for mating."

Singed let out a frustrated sigh. "I do not wish to attend this meeting! I have no interest in such things."

"Why bother then? Just don't go." Viktor replied somewhat annoyed about the chemist's presence.

Singed shook his head. "That'd be the easiest but she would be furious and you don't wish to encounter Janna when she's furious."

Viktor rolled his eyes and sighed. "How about you bring her here? I'll turn her into a machine and then you won't have to bother with her."

Singed tapped his chin. "Oh- that sounds incredibly interesting… though the League would have our heads for it."

"What a shame…" Viktor thought for a moment, his third arm scratching his chin. "Well you could always-"

The door to Viktor's lab burst open and Jayce stormed into the room holding a remote like device in his hand. "Ha! Ha! The time has come Viktor! Take your last breath!"

Viktor stared at the man and facepalmed. "Jayce, let us not start this again."

"Say goodbye Viktor!" He pointed the device at the Machine Herald and pressed the large red button atop it.

Viktor simply sat there staring at Jayce, waiting. "So uhhh- is anything supposed to happen?"

Jayce pressed the button again. "Well… uhhhh-"

"Do you even know what that device is supposed to accomplish?"

Jayce lowered the remote and scratched his neck awkwardly. "Not really…"

Viktor stood up and glared at Jayce. "I will ask you nicely Jayce. Leave my laborato-" The glow in Viktor's eyes faded away. He stood completely motionless for a second before he fell back into the armchair.

Singed stared at Viktor before he poked his face. "I think he's dead…"

Jayce looked at the remote. "Uh- yeah! Exactly what it was supposed to do!"

"**SYSTEM-REEBOOTING—OVERRIDE-COMPLETE**" Viktor's eyes began to glow again. He looked around the room and slowly stood up.

"Uhhhh- Viktor?" Singed watched the Machine Herald slowly walk over to him.

Viktor grabbed one of Singed's hands and leaned closer to his face. "Let me improve you so that we may lead the Glorious Evolution together. Be at my side as my other half, the love I tried to suppress through augmentations."

Singed stared at Viktor for about a minute, the room becoming dead silent until he raised his voice. "What the actual fuck?"

**AN: Whoa! Yeah! I'm back! From…nothing really. I was A: real fucking lazy and B: just didn't feel creative. BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR TITTIES EXCITED AND GRAB SOME POCORN! Jk, I simply came up with this and I'M not sure exactly how to continue. But leave it to me, I'll figure it out!  
Bacon out.**


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